Monday, November 19, 2012

Pillar of Defense.

It has been a long time since Ive written.  The whole point of this blog was to chart the aliyah process, the differences between the US and Israel and how they have effected me.  I guess after 3 years here, the new and shocking doesnt seem so interesting to write about anymore.

Until now.  This last week we have been living at war for the first time since we made aliyah.  We had a rocket hit down the street from us, and experienced the fear of never knowing when the next siren would go off.  We have been amazingly lucky in comparison to our neighboring cities, but it still has not been easy.

I studied abroad in Israel during the second Intifada.  Terror attacks were happening often, but it was different.  I was single, the life I was 'putting on the line' was my own.  Now I am a married mother of two.  Every time a siren goes off I wonder "What am I doing here?  Why am I putting my girls through this?".  I feel guilty for ruining their innocence, for putting them into a situation that I dont have to.  I worry on how it will effect them, what they will think when they grow up and look back at our choices.

But then again....  this is home for now.  I believe in the cause, I dont want to let the terror group win.  I have a job and the kids have school and we have friends here. 

I dont know what the future holds for us, or how long we may stay here in Israel, or if we will move back to the states.  But for now this is home, and I am teaching my kids the power of staying strong, of following your dreams... and of being smart about keeping safe when possible.

Hopefully I will get back in the habit of updating more.