Thursday, January 7, 2010

changes

We spent the last couple days visiting my brother in college, and it really got me thinking about the life changes I have made since I started college, which was only 7 years ago. In that time I have become more religious, studied abroad, met my husband, graduated, got my masters degree, got married, had a baby, moved to israel and started working.

We all make choices in life, and being back here where I grew up has really put that into perspective for me. I honestly dont think there is a right and wrong with the choices I have been making (except for marrying my husband of course) they just lead to very different life paths. I chose a college major that I loved- while it doesnt ever guarantee work it is my passion, and I am so thankful that I was able to study what I wanted. We chose to have a baby after less than a year of marriage- while it has been hard I feel so very blessed to be able to have her, and I enjoy being a relatively young mother. We chose to move to Israel- while this has been hard, I know that this is something my husband wants and needs... and I am thankful that we have supportive families and the opportunity to follow dreams.

These thoughts have come into even sharper focus because I am very aware of the aging of my parents and grandparents. B"H we have lots of time together, but I know that my choice in moving to Israel has put a large physical distance between us, which in its very nature changes our relationship. We live in the amazing world of the internet and skype, but it is not the same as being in person. Everyday I struggle with the distance, and still have not figured out a way to come to terms with the situation. Maybe it is something I will never be able to fully figure out, but I hope there is some middle ground.

I cannot know what will come of these choices we have been making, but I know that I only have this life to live, and there is no point in regret. I am excited to be going back to Israel to start work and really make my own place in the society. Hopefully being back in the workplace will give me a frame of reference so I can finally begin to feel like I am not such an outsider in Israel.

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